Saturday, December 26, 2009

one word~blinds

i sit and look out of our pristine windows, neatly topped with the precisely drawn thick venetian blinds he insisted upon. they can't be any higher or lower than the mid point of the window, thus rendering the upper portion of the scenes outside hidden from our viewing... and the lower portion open and vulnerable.

i look at the heavy hanging cord now neatly wrapped around his neck, his red face with it's bulging eyes.. looking so startled as he discovered death was waiting for him...and i think i may want to change those window coverings before the spring.

Monday, December 21, 2009


Amanda loved much so, she was feeling guilty over the frisson of excitement she had entering this one.

Standing in line, she dropped the paper with her name on it into the kettle....then stood back with the rest as Michael reached into the pile of 39 pieces of paper, one from each of them, and paused before he read it aloud. Around her, cheers broke out, the frail volume masking the sounds of sobbing from the person who was named. Amanda sighed--wondering if Michael had fixed the outcome, wondering how long he could continue to do so without being caught.

That night, Amanda and Michael sat with the other 36 survivors; each enjoying their first meal in weeks, each accepting there would be another lottery, and soon. Amanda put her concerns and fear aside, turned to her husband with a smile and remarked she was surprised the meat didn’t taste like chicken, but, like salty pork instead.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

sunday scribblings~brave

the only thing to fear

it had taken everything shelly had to sign up for the event. she knew that she’d be there, in front of so many, exposed for all to see, all of them--waiting. standing backstage, there in the wings, she rubbed the material of her dress between her fingers...her chewed nails catching on the fabric. she worried it was too long, too plain, when all the other girls had on much shorter, much prettier ones...hers was simple, theirs sparkled and glittered in the reflected lights. she noticed their hair was perfect, while hers tended to go wispy, and they stood in circles whispering and giggling to each other. sure, a few stood alone, as she did, some with eyes closed, some looking about, all of them with the look she knew she wore--a bold facade overlaying a intense fear.

in the midst of her stress, ana baker pinched her arm, hissing, “they called your name... GO!!”. shelley moved forward, a stumble of a move, almost falling as she went into the bright lights, sensing the crowd beyond them, hearing the gasp that arose over her ungainly entrance.

there she stood...the others already in place; she was feeling isolated, feeling she had made a mistake. it was silent, still... coughs coming from the place beyond the lights, all of them in the line breathing lightly, rapidly. the group waited, to see how they’d do, how they’d be accepted.. if they’d be laughed at---this, this was their greatest fear.

“shelley? will you step up here, please?” she followed the disembodied voice, her throat dry, her brain skittering from what was going to happen.

“shelley podber? it's time. now, please spell the word, ‘brave’ for us.” the voice of her second grade teacher spoke out of the dark.

licking her lips, hands locked together, she faced the microphone and opened her mouth....