Sunday, May 31, 2009

sunday scribblings~covert

hide in plain sight



dating is a covert operation, i’ve found. it’s not about putting yourself forward--it’s about putting up a facade, and only letting the best part of you show, holding that screen to shield the actual depths of you, so you can be presentable to the dating pool. you never admit you fall asleep to the sound of body screaming that your eggs are going to waste. you don’t mention whats-their-name, the sibling you dislike intensely, who is a psychological mess. you wonder what on which date you should disclose the fact you need to touch your doorknob five times before you leave the house. and, when, i mean, really, when do you tell the other person you like toys in bed, it adds to the thrill for you--and by toys you mean your stuffed animal collection that you keep in a box in your closet? these realities are carefully put away, tucked behind the silk skirt and the heels and the huge smile you wear as you move into the restaurant on that first date, saying in a thrilled voice you are surprised is your own, “you really chose a great place!”. with that first statement, there you are, disguising your hatred for the cuisine, the decor and the location, effectively starting on the path of semi-truths you’ll tell during the night... with luck, you’ll find a partner who will move into the full truths of your life, and accept you as you are, as you need to accept them.

i take that deep breath, adjust my skirt, touch my hair and walk in with him saying, “wow! this place is so unique!”, holding tight to my mask and hoping it doesn’t slip too soon.

8 comments:

  1. Well-played, Q. Tightly woven, with a hint of sadness, a smidge of truth.

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  2. And maybe dating's cubism, too, that eyeball that's nestled right up next to the left nostril, Picasso/Braque-style, just because the boys wanted to have some fun and look at things on the slant. Facets. At least in your hometown you could strike Mr. Maybe right off the list, if he wuz delving in the wrong cuisine. Half the work was done...

    I like this red and black design. A lot.

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  3. I like this piece. There is truth to it. I think it is also true that the facades remain for years - maybe not to the same extent. Do we really ever let ourselves be known?

    http://www.delenemartin.com/?p=851

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  4. This post may be the most truthful I ever read. It portrays us all. We are all afraid to bare our souls and oh so many times we find the truths way to late. Sometimes, the one we fool the most is ourselves.

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  5. Well written piece of truth - probably describes a great many of us.

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  6. A lot of truth in this - and so well written.

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  7. This was very honest in a confessional sort of way. It also smacks of the truth and is easily transferable to many social situations. But, as Thom pointed out, it is a bit sad. Because unlike business, courtship leads to the intimate exposure of love. And we all want to be accepted at our very core. Very well written, Quin!

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