Tuesday, June 16, 2009

carry on tuesday~flash fiction

this week's prompt:

a lantern light from deeper in the barn
shone on a man and woman in the door



redemption



“maddie, is this really what you want?”

“yes. yes, it is. i’ve had a long time to think about it, and this is exactly what i want. to be done with this place, to go as far away as i can.”

“are you sure she hasn’t figured it out yet? you aren’t very good with secrets.”

“this secret, i’ve kept.... i swear, no one knows but you and i.”

“i don’t know, she’s not stupid. she listens when you think she’s asleep, she finds hidden journals, she figured out how to log into a computer... what if she finds some link, some clue?”

“everything is password protected on my laptop. if she manages to figure out the password there, all she’ll find is bullshit i’ve done or written. every thing i’ve had to actually write about, is under a fake name, with no autotext fill in shit. there is no way.. no way at all.”

“i have to believe you on this... if it goes wrong, we are majorly fucked. there can be no links, no trails, nothing. this is freaking me ou, this idea of yours. i’m not sure i understand why you are doing this, while at the same time, i do understand.”

“it will never end otherwise... you know that. i’ll be here, tending to this place i hate, dealing with a woman who makes my teeth hurt, stuck here forever. i’m going to do it, and if you don’t want to join me, well, fine. no, really, fine.. i can do it alone.”

“you were always stubborn... that’s why she hates you. i mean, come on.. you’ve never done anything the way she wants it done.. it gets finished, but, you do it your way. so, yeah, fine, let’s do it your way.”

“thank you. you don’t know ho.. no, you do know. i could never follow through if you weren’t backing me. i promise you, no one will ever figure it out. i’ve thought and thought and gone over every possible problem, and i’ve worked around them. there are letters mailed to cover her being gone, and....shit. shit. shit. i don’t want to cry right now. give me a minute, okay? we can do this.. i can do this. it’s her or me.”

“and then it’s me and you. right?”

“right. okay, it’s now or never.... hand me the ax, the blankets are in the kitchen pantry. what’s that shitty phrase she always used? no time like the present!”


a lantern light from deeper in the barn
shown on a man and woman walking from the door.

7 comments:

  1. Nicely done. No time like the present, indeed.

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  2. I loved your phrase 'dealing with a woman who makes my teeth hurt'.

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  3. murder, most foul.
    and I expected a romantic sort of a scene...

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  4. Oooh, "Quin Noir!" I'm impressed!

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  5. I really liked the underlying sense of panic, the fear that they wouldn't cover their tracks. Lots of suspense and gritty realism. A very creative interpretation of the prompt!

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  6. remind me to stay on your good side. I might end up dead in a story :)

    Very nicely done. Love the thriller.

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