my boobs are real, i tell him. just look at them, ffs. do they look like i've had a boob job? no, they look like i've had three kids, right? if this was a paid for boob job, i'd sue the effing shit who did the operation.
he ignores me and points to the form where it asks "do you have implants?"
i check yes, for the thrill of it, even though he makes me fill out another form telling the truth.