one word, one minute~cards

i wrote two this time...


we play cards to bond, my mother and i. we seldom speak, i avoid time with her...past misery consuming my thoughts when she's around...but, when we are in the same place, we play gin. it bonds us, makes us laugh, gives us a safe place to be together.

this is a good thing, and lets me carry on without feeling guilt for the rest of the time.

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instead of waiting, i go to tarot cards, looking for the answers there. will i be pretty, will i be rich... will he ever love me as i love him? they never give me an answer i can live with, so, i ask again and again. perhaps one day, i'll be strong enough to stop and simply wait and see.

i doubt it, though.